Jokes

Jokes can help you live a life full of joy. Our lives are way to stressed with everything happen within it. All the struggles and fear moving though our lives, make it so hard to enjoy. We are going to change that, together we will bring a little joy and laughter to all those that choose to live a better life.

I know I have given a lot to think about throughout the entire website. This is dedicated to those of you that work hard at your spiritual growth. Also a way to remind you, not to take life to serious!

The jokes are not meant to insult anyone, they are here to give lighten the load we all seem to have this day and age. Please share your jokes with us so that together we can bring joy and love throughout the world.

Check out the simple humor, hopefully you'll leave with a smile or a chuckle. When you are finished share your jokes with us!

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My Minister Gave me this joke...

Cab Ride

A man jumps into a cab and says take me to the airport. So they are driving along and he notices that the cab driver is turning the opposite direction, no where near the airport.

So he taps the driver on the shoulder which in turn brings the car going every direction, first up on the sidewalk almost missing a few people walking, then into a park where kids scramble jumping out of the way of the cab, then bringing the cab to a stop just inches of breaking the window of the drug store, the man puzzled asked the cab driver what happened!

Oh SORRY! This is my first day on the job.

Puzzled still, the man says...

SOOO!

The Cab driver says....

My last job I was a Hearse Driver!

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This joke has a underlining message for all of us to hear. See if you can find it in...

God Will Save Me!

There was an old man sitting on his porch listening to his radio while watching the rain fall. Over the radio came a loud warning siren and the announcer said ... "Evacuate the area! A Flood is coming!" Right after the warning the water started coming over the porch and into the house.

The old man moved to the second floor looking out the window, when a rescue boat came and the people on board said,"You can't stay here the flood is here!" Please come with us."

The old man replied, "No, God will save me." So the boat left. A little while later the water was up to the second floor, so the man climbed up onto the roof. This time a helicopter flew over head and through a loud speaker said "You are going to drown if you stay here! Please come with us!"

The old man again replied,"God will save me." So they flew off to get others stranded.

An hour later the water was up over the roof and sweeps the man into the flooding water, where he drowns and goes to heaven. When he awakens, he is extremely mad and disappointed. When he sees God he asks him, "Why didn't you save me?"

God replied, "I Tried! I sent you a warning, then a boat, then a helicopter!!"

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This joke is old and simple...

An atheist was walking through the woods.

Looking around he said... "What majestic trees"! "What powerful rivers"! "What beautiful animals"!

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right On top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was still.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the Voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

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This joke reminded me of my childhood, how about you?

Where is God?

Two trouble making brothers where always lying, cheating, stealing, and breaking things. Always in some kind of trouble!

Their parents have tried everything to get the boys to change, with no results, and if anything they got worse. Finally, running out of options, they ask their pastor if he can help.

He said "I will talk to the boys, one at a time". So the parents take their youngest son, leaving him and will come and pick him up when they call. The boy sits in a chair across from the pastor's desk and they just look at each other.

Finally, the Pastor says, "Where is God?"

The boy just sits there and doesn't answer.

The pastor begins to look stern and loudly says, "WHERE IS GOD?"

The little boy shifts in his seat, but still doesn't answer.

The pastor is starting to get angry at the boy's refusal to converse and practically shouts "WHERE IS GOD?"

All of a sudden the little boy jumps up out of his chair and runs out of the office.

The boy leaves the church and runs all the way home, up the stairs and into his brother's room. He shuts the door and shouts "We're in BIG TROUBLE. God's missing and they think we did it!"

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Kid jokes always seem so innocent, I guess that's why I choose this one.

Which Way to Heaven?

Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, "If you'll come to the Baptist Church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to heaven."

The boy replied, "I don't think I'll be there... You don't even know your way to the post office."

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This joke made me smile so I had to share it!

An Email From God!

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.

So he called on a female angel and sent her to Earth for a time.

When she returned she told God, "Yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good."

Well, he thought for a moment and said "Maybe I had better send down a male angel; to get both points of view."

So God called a male angel and sent him to Earth for a time.

When the male angel returned he went to God and told him "Yes, the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good."

God said this was not good. He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good and encourage them a little, something to help them keep going. Do you know what that E-mail said?

Oh! You didn't get one either huh?

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